You are about to read day 31 in my 31 Day series from Fat to Freedom, as part of write 31 days.
It is vitally important to remember that when you make a decision to move from fat to freedom, that not everyone is on your side. Not everyone wholeheartedly supports what you are doing. Let’s take a look at the types of detractors you might experience –
The people who feel threatened by you – when we are fat people don’t normally feel threatened by us. Be that our intelligence, our state of mind, our lifestyle or how we look. But when we start to make decisions that change how we look, think and act. They start to get territorial over us, they want us to go back to how we were, because how we were didn’t threaten them. Let me say this loud and clear – we have enough issues to deal with, without taking on anyone else’s.
The other fat people – they try to bring you down by belittling your achievements saying, how can you not eat what you want, when you want, how can you be bothered to exercise
Negativity Givers – They say things like ‘boy you have do much more fat to lose.’ ‘I can’t believe you are eating desert, seriously.’ ‘Flip its taking you a long time to lose weight.’ – They don’t celebrate our achievements with us, instead they focus only on the negative, and they give us a hard time, trying to bring us down to their own level.
The People who want us to follow their agenda – we find these people all the time, they want us to embark on a journey entirely on their terms, they want us to follow their instructions, their set course, their meal plans, and exercise advice. When we don’t they criticize us and belittle our success. These people can be found especially in the Personal Training arena so be careful!
The Critics – nothing we do is good enough for them, everything is open to criticism. They want to pull us down, and criticize our achievements
The people who are only interested in their own story – these people are quite tricky because they pretend to be interested in you, and they say things that make you think they actually care about the journey they are on, but very quickly it becomes clear that they are interested in no one but themselves, and if what you are doing isn’t on their radar, they instantly dismiss us. They make everything about themselves.
Our responsibility is our life, not someone else’s.
If other people aren’t comfortable or happy with the choices we are making those are their thoughts. Their words reflect the things that they need to deal with, even though they sound like they are a reflection on us. They aren’t.
When people see someone achieving something that shows up a shortfall in their own life, they try to take the attention off themselves, and give it to the person who is enjoying success, in loaded or negative comments. These people can be sleeked and clever in how they phrase things, but it is crucial that we don’t take on board what they have to say. We only have one life, with an allotted timespan, use this time for you, rather than to take onboard other peoples problems.
It takes a lot of self-belief to keep going, when the going gets tough, as at times on our journey it will. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself motivated. I have a print up in my study, that says ‘i believe’ everytime I look at it I reinforce what I do believe about myself and the journey that I am on. I remember to love myself, because through taking care of myself, I am in the best position to help others. I remember that even if I have had a hard day, tomorrow will get better and that there is hope. I believe in myself.
We have a responsibility to ourselves to surround ourselves with people who are on our team, who are rooting and cheering for us. Who will celebrate with us, when we tell them our fatloss, who will say well done, who will say on our darkest days – ‘Look how far you have come, look what you have achieved. Okay you feel downhearted now, but focus on the future, you have done so well, and I know you will keep doing it. I believe in you.’ We have to make a decision to spend more time with these people, and less with the detractors.
I am not saying end relationships or friendships with people, instead, I am saying choose wisely who you spend your time with. Choose people who build you up and support you, over those who zap your energy. If you leave someone feeling worse than when you met them, you need to consider how much time you spend with that person, and when you spend time with them. Some of our friends are energy zappers, so we need to hang out with the, when we are at our strongest, and we need to protect our mind and our hearts from their words, by actively choosing to send to the trash can in our mind, & then mentally deleting, anything they say that is not helpful.
A friend of mine has recently started working in the weightloss industry. She showed me her business cards, and in big letters was the word ‘encouragement’ right at the top of the list. I couldn’t agree with her more. I know that as I have walked on this journey, the people who encourage me help me to take the next steps when I don’t feel I can. Their words of encouragement remind me that I can do this, and of how far I have come.
Encouragement is a lifeblood. It will help you every step of the way. I firmly believe that it is absolutely essential to everything that you do as you walk from Fat to Freedom. Having a group of friends, and family, and a professional who will encourage you, give you a high five, and tell you well done. This does wonders for your psyche! It builds you up, and confirms what you already know inside, that ‘all that you are doing is worth it.’
Encouragement also helps you when you face tough days, and provides motivation, when you want to throw the towel in. I have found that it took me to new levels of exercise and strength as I worked out. Even when you know you are doing well, just hearing someone else tell you well done is very rewarding, and reinforces all the positive choices that you are making in your life. When people encourage you, or send you a note, or email – put a copy of it into your notebook, keep it there to read again and to remind you of the positive things they have said, when you feel a bit low.
You can do this.
That's it for now ...
Salt & Sparkle = Life Remarkable