Why I'm not reading 'that' book...
by NicsRecently I was asked to read a piece of writing which the author hoped would be published. It was autobiographical, which in the beginning hid the dark subject matter - torture, sex, abuse, bullying, abuse of animals, arson, murder and stuff. The writing was without spark. It didn't make me care about the character or subject matter. The writer evidently was using words to manipulate the reader into excusing their behavior. Actions which they showed no remorse for. Choices they made yet said where a direct result of someone else's actions to them.
As I read through the book, I felt physically sick at some of the things described. When I'd finished I felt like my mind was filled with cesswater. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. It's been a long time since I have had a physical reaction to words, but I do have them & I trust my reaction to them. Even though its been several days since I read the manuscript several of the images of torture pop up in my mind & I shudder. The sick feeling instantly returning to the pit of my stomach.
When I first picked up that book, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' (a couple of months ago) at the end of an aisle in the supermarket. I read a few lines of the blurb & instinctively put it down again moving on to other books. The whole experience was over in less than 30seconds. It sounded dull & uninteresting. And the cover made me think it was some sort of book for men.
I didn't give the book a second thought until it became a phenomena. And, people started talking about it everywhere. In one day no fewer than ten people aged 17-70 asked me had I read it & why wasn't I going to read it.
One of them said to me 'it's a racey read, perfect for the beach, a bit of harmless fantasy but do expect to feel grubby when you've finished it.'
Grubby?
Why would I want to read a book that would make me feel grubby?
Why would I want to fill my mind with what is essentially BDSM porn prose?
No one has been able to answer these questions. But I can answer them. Life is tough, just daily living can expose us to heartbreaking pain - bombs, murder, punishment beatings, violence, death, those left behind, rape, molestation, child abuse, victims, those trying to recover from attacks, war, terrorism, divorce - turn on the news or read a paper it's playing in front of us 24/7.
Life is painful. Heartbreaking.
I make the choice not to search for anymore pain. Especially in a novel where BDSM is being graphically portrayed. I don't need those images or thoughts in my brain. I know they are not harmless or fantasy, but a form of abuse. Supposedly consentual the bottom line is that this behavior is manipulation & abuse. And, I don't need to put either of these into my mind.
What we put into our minds doesn't disappear. Memories or what we let our minds consume haunt us. This is why it is so important to think about what we read. What we put into our minds, affects the other parts of us - our spirit, our emotions, our soul. It can drag us down. It can build us up. We chose how we feed ourselves.
As I haven't read the book I'm not talking about the plot, writing, the details. I'm going on my instincts & the information I know about the book from those who read it.
What about you - are you reading this book, are you going to?
My gut feeling is that this is a dangerous book, which will damage my mind. I'm hanging with my instincts & not going anywhere near it.
That's it for now ...
Nics
Salt & Sparkle = Life Remarkable
Reader Comments (4)
Totally agree. It is harmful to imply that women like this kind of stuff and to normalise it as everyday activity, even if it is supposed "fantasy".
You hit the nail on the head. It's the normalizing of it I dislike. I read a blog of a 14 year old girl who thought every thing in the book sounded cool & exactly what they'd like to experience. This made me very sad.
Another one here who won't be reading "that" book. I agree with everything else that you said, and I also dislike that people read this stuff - and like it - simply because "everyone else is reading it," without considering other implications (seriously, a 14 year old girl? would she have ever read this if it wasn't for "everyone else doing it"?)
I agree April. People follow a mass instinct at times to their detriment. I was very disturbed to read of the 14 year old who can't wait to try what she's read.
It upsets me that people reading this book think inflicting pain to receive pleasure will enhance their sex lives or that if sex life is a bit dull the next move is to bring violence into their sexual relationships.