Failure is not my Name

I didn't make it to my deadline.  There are many reasons, but I fear no excuses.  As the words tumbled from my brain through my fingers and into the story developing on the page in front of me, I wrote and wrote and I wrote.  But 50'000 words and three days, really isn't a match made in heaven.  

November began with such great intentions, I was going to be sitting here today with the first draft of my new novel, written.  I would have the National Novel Writing Month Badge to show you all, and wear with a little bit of pleasure.  

I don't have it.  It didn't happen.  

50'000 words didn't happen

BUT 20'000 did!

But I am not a failure, I am not even allowing that thought to get a foothold. This past month has been one of such intensity, I wasn't sure where I could catch a breath.  

But friends gathered round me and encouraged me, held me up as I fell down, as I cried tears of pain.

So what happened to the word count - well the words just didn't make it to the page.  Why because something had to give, I couldn't do all I had to do in November, and write.  And, it wasn't resistance that was stopping me, it was that certain things had to take priority over my self imposed deadline.  Through this all remembering my deadline was self-imposed, made such a difference.

November became a month of the unexpected  - unexplained pain soared through my legs, one of my feet went numb, I had to give two presentations, pitch for a contract (and I won it), that came up unexpectantly.  Then there was a manipulative letter that tried to drag me backwards into a past of darkness, that required, immediate action, and words on paper, that with grace, explained why I was saying no.

Then we had glorious news in our family - my little brother and his beautiful Sarah, are now engaged.  

November, I have so much to be thankful for.

November you were my month of THANKSGIVING, in the midst of much adversity.

November, I didn't make my word count, but I get just under 1/2 way there in three days - that's 20'000 words people.

20'000 words of a story, that I can't wait to share with you.

I have words to go before I sleep, but words that excite me and a story with characters that have their own stories to tell.

A new dawn breaks, and I get up tomorrow, I put my butt in the seat and I keep writing, because the words will come, and the book will be written and read.  All I have to do is stay faithful, keep going and know with every ounce of my being that not making the deadline this month isn't a big deal, unless I chose to make it.

How was your November?

That's it for now ...

Nics

Salt & Sparkle = Life Remarkable

Sharing a new piece of work is frightening

They went to Los Angelos to meet his parents

The light faded as the Chevy moved through the desert.  Chewing on her nails, she watched Jesse from the corner of her eye.  Several times she had opened her mouth to speak but had closed it without making a sound - words where far away.

‘I love you’ Jesse said, glancing at her for a moment, before returning his eyes to the road.

She turned to face him. 

‘I love you’ he said again.

Tears fell down her face.  He stopped the Chevy, gravel crunched under his feet as he walked round to open her door.  Lifting her out of the truck he cradled her in his arms. 

‘She’s gone, sweetheart,’ he murmured as he rocked her, ‘Mama’s gone’.

‘Where Daddy? Where has she gone?’ her little voice whispered against his cheek.

‘Heaven baby, Mama is in heaven’ Jack answered.

‘I miss her Daddy.’

‘So do I.’ he said

‘Can Mama see stars in heaven, Daddy?’ she asked looking up to the sky

‘I don’t know baby.’ He said, as he looked up into the vast blackness that was twinkling with light

‘I think Mama can see the stars Daddy.’

‘I hope she can, baby.  Mama loved stars and she knew their names.’ Jesse said .

‘Will you teach me the names of the stars Daddy?’

‘I will.’ Setting her down on the ground, he pointed out the North Star and said that was the one they were following to the ocean. 

‘Why are we going to the Ocean Daddy?’

‘I’m taking you home baby, to where I grew up with Gramps and Granna on Leo Carrillo State Beach.’

-------

Jeff asked us to publish something that we have never shared with anyone today, as part of Day 4 of his series 15 Habits of Great Writers.  To practice to have a go and put our work out there.  I have shared with you a tiny story that I wrote in 15 minutes after reading this prompt on another of my favourite blogs, Joe Bunting's The Write Practice.  This is the second snippet of my fiction that I have shared with you.  (You can read the first here.) 

I let go mostly easily of my work - on my blog, in my scripts, in my published articles - because there is something inside of me that knows this is what I have to do.  That feeling is still there with fiction, but my tummy is full of butterflies, there's a slightly sick taste in my mouth.

I am pertified. 

What will you think of my words, of my story, of my dialogue? 

But I am letting go and giving this little story to you.  I really hope you enjoy it, tell me if you do or you don't in the comments.  

I have taken a deep breath and am shipping because that is the thing about writers - we have to ship, to let it go.

Let me know what you think.

That's it for now ...

Nics

Salt and Sparkle = Life Remarkable