Why I'm not reading 'that' book...

Recently I was asked to read a piece of writing which the author hoped would be published. It was autobiographical, which in the beginning hid the dark subject matter - torture, sex, abuse, bullying, abuse of animals, arson, murder and stuff. The writing was without spark. It didn't make me care about the character or subject matter. The writer evidently was using words to manipulate the reader into excusing their behavior. Actions which they showed no remorse for. Choices they made yet said where a direct result of someone else's actions to them.

As I read through the book, I felt physically sick at some of the things described. When I'd finished I felt like my mind was filled with cesswater. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. It's been a long time since I have had a physical reaction to words, but I do have them & I trust my reaction to them. Even though its been several days since I read the manuscript several of the images of torture pop up in my mind & I shudder. The sick feeling instantly returning to the pit of my stomach.

When I first picked up that book, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' (a couple of months ago) at the end of an aisle in the supermarket. I read a few lines of the blurb & instinctively put it down again moving on to other books. The whole experience was over in less than 30seconds. It sounded dull & uninteresting. And the cover made me think it was some sort of book for men.

I didn't give the book a second thought until it became a phenomena. And, people started talking about it everywhere. In one day no fewer than ten people aged 17-70 asked me had I read it & why wasn't I going to read it.

One of them said to me 'it's a racey read, perfect for the beach, a bit of harmless fantasy but do expect to feel grubby when you've finished it.'

Grubby?

Why would I want to read a book that would make me feel grubby?

Why would I want to fill my mind with what is essentially BDSM porn prose?

No one has been able to answer these questions. But I can answer them. Life is tough, just daily living can expose us to heartbreaking pain - bombs, murder, punishment beatings, violence, death, those left behind, rape, molestation, child abuse, victims, those trying to recover from attacks, war, terrorism, divorce - turn on the news or read a paper it's playing in front of us 24/7.

Life is painful. Heartbreaking.

I make the choice not to search for anymore pain. Especially in a novel where BDSM is being graphically portrayed. I don't need those images or thoughts in my brain. I know they are not harmless or fantasy, but a form of abuse. Supposedly consentual the bottom line is that this behavior is manipulation & abuse. And, I don't need to put either of these into my mind.

What we put into our minds doesn't disappear. Memories or what we let our minds consume haunt us. This is why it is so important to think about what we read. What we put into our minds, affects the other parts of us - our spirit, our emotions, our soul. It can drag us down. It can build us up. We chose how we feed ourselves.

As I haven't read the book I'm not talking about the plot, writing, the details. I'm going on my instincts & the information I know about the book from those who read it.

What about you - are you reading this book, are you going to?

My gut feeling is that this is a dangerous book, which will damage my mind. I'm hanging with my instincts & not going anywhere near it.

That's it for now ...

Nics

Salt & Sparkle = Life Remarkable

Carolina on my mind - sweet shot tuesday

In my mind I'm going to Carolina - folks, can't believe that my trip in North America ends tomorrow - it has been an incredible adventure.  Today I am dreaming of Carolina, and wishing a little that I was going back there, it is one place that I know for sure, that I will visit again.  My Sweet Shot Tuesday is the view from my hotel in Charleston, The Marriott.  Happy Tuesday guys, head over to Darcy's blog to load your own shot.

That's it for now...

Nics

Salt and Sparkle = Life Remarkable

Groggy

I woke up this morning - groggy, and the feeling hasn't really shifted.  I have wanted to curl up with a book, and hide from the world, but that really isn't an option today.  It is somedays, but not today.  Instead, I have done something purposeful.   Cleared a space in my study for a new desk, which I am hoping to go to get tomorrow.  Sometimes just clearing something, throwing some stuff out, building a great big fire in the grate with unneeded or dealt with paper, feels soooooooooooo good!

I have a pile of paperwork to get through, things to file, bits to organise, mood boards to assemble, on location out of office emails to answer, and all the related stuff to do from those, and the list really does go on and on and on.  For the past few weeks, I have been really busy with work, orders and shoots and all this stuff, has been pushed to the side, well it can't be any longer.  I need to make some order in the chaos, and just get on with all the things, that are essential, like the paperwork but that I can find fifty billion things I would rather be doing.  However, the dull stuff is really important, and it needs to be dealt with, or I will continue running in concentric circles, with no end in sight. 

Isn't it funny how the stuff we don't really like doing, is actually pretty central to our lives, it makes them run smoother, and it gives us time to do the things we really enjoy.  I have made the decision this year, not to put things off, and to try to be more organised - it definitely doesn't come naturally to me - because too much chaos, just leads to stress, that I really could deal without.

What are you top tips on dealing with the paperwork in order to free yourself up for other things?  

Gotta go, as there are a pile of letters over there, with my name on - letter opener in hand, I move forward.

That's it for today…

Nics

salt and sparkle = life remarkable